Friday, December 13, 2013

Spiteful And Bitchy Holiday Gifts!

It is the holiday season and 62% of people with Internet access shop monthly online.  But are you aware of the danger that comes with online shopping?  No, I am not talking about the usual blah, blah, blah, but something even more serious.

You should only buy gifts online for people that you will like and care about forever and ever, and ten years after that!

Over the years, I have casually participated in gift giving with various pretty girls that I had some type of relationship with...and now today, I have to live with the ongoing reminders of these past flings.

This group of girls tried to find me a date, but instead the group just ended up with more girls.
I am not limiting this to just my romantic interludes, (as that would make this a very short blog), so I am also including my "let's just be friends" girl friends.

Here's what I have learned; When you buy someone something online, you will forever receive a reminder about this person, even if they are no longer in your life.  These web gifts spawns off other offers, enticing you to get that special someone another wonderful keepsake.

Here are a few of my past cool gift ideas, which I will never forget buying;

This is a true story of a pet rug, only the dog has been changed!
5 1/2 years ago, I bought one Large Woven Photo Blanket featuring a girl's childhood pet dog.  It looked really cool, but I do not have an actual photo of it, so I made a fake one for this story.  She and I hardly get together these days, so getting a photo of the blanket on her bed could be a bit awkward.  Yet, I still continue to receive offers to buy more blankets, even though she doesn't even have a dog, (well not as of this publication).

Can you find the Red Stapler in this pic?
Another girl friend of mine mentioned that her favorite film was Office Space.  So I sought out, found and bought her a Swingline Limited Edition Series 747 Rio Red Business Stapler.  I thought that this was a thoughtful, and clever gift!  She didn't even acknowledge how great it was to get a stapler as a gift.  Nada.  However, I do get acknowledgements and suggestions for new gift ideas emailed to me several times a week, from the good people at

While writing this column...THIS came on my who is the stalker?
I have also bought a PajamaGram Snuggle Fleece Argyle Pajamas, which I also had personalized with her name embroidered on the top portion.  Unlike the other purchases that I made, I not only get emails for other p.j. offers, but they mail me an actual catalog to my home.  We're talking about a website amount of content, but in paper form!

This doesn't just end with gifts for my friends...

Not sure if this is good way to treat close-friends, but it is good for the ratings! I am getting purchase suggestions, due to some online gifts that I bought for my family members.

Exterminate!   Exterminate!   Nanu-Nanu!
Because of my nieces, I get an American Girl catalog, Cosplay ideas and even suggested ads on Facebook for Doctor Who products.  Come on, just because I have bought them things with a big blue police phone box on it, that doesn't mean that I want to buy a shirt with Matt Smith on it.

However, I do look forward to more promotional ads for red staplers!

Tony Lossano, Broadcast Producer (TV & Radio, Chicago), amateur bicyclist, a fantastic dog walker, and has never been married to Alyssa Milano.

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